so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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