It's Friday. Sex?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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