Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize