2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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