i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
