How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
