I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
