Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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