just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
