I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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