I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
