Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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