She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
