He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize