College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
