when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
