I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
