Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize