is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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