Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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