We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize