But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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