dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Never underestimate the power of titties
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
