Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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