I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We left an ass print on the piano.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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