We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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