I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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