When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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