my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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