He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
