Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
