She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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