So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
