He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
