I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
