I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
