Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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