i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
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The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
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Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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