Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize