hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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