There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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