the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
