bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
