if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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