I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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