every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
