Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
