Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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