In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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