that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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