I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
