Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
