I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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