I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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