So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
