I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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