yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
