So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize