If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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