I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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