I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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