I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize