He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
