i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
