come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
