Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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